This will be a short introduction:
Step 1: say goodbye to friends and family, and depart with mom for the airport.
Step 2: Check in at the counter, quickly re-pack checked back and carry-on bag, say goodbye to Mom, and proceed to security.
Step 3: fight for your shoes because some woman grabbed the wrong ones.
Step 4: enjoy the hour before your flight, feeling nauseous and terrified.
Step 5: fly from Des Moines to Chicago, without a hitch. Listen to iPod if preferred. Depart plane in Chicago, locate nearest Flight Departure screen, have instant heart attack.
Step 6: Call mom. Flight is cancelled.
Steps 7-apx. 13: go to United desk. Patiently, but irritated, ask to be put on next flight to Newark. Speak with mom on the phone, as rather disorganized United servicewoman tak-tak-tak-tak-tak-tak-taks away on her computer. Joke with mom about "Meet the Parents". Feel even more sick, and increasingly nervous. Get instructions. SPRINT from United desk to Gate B1. Realize instead Gate B4 is needed.
Step 14: Hand passport, old boarding pass and new ticket to helper-lady. Only receive passport back. Line up at the gate to board new plane, be asked for new boarding pass. Get scolded by helper lady and boarding gate-dude. Board plane, sweaty and pissed, tired and hungry, feeling even more ready to throw up.
Step 15-end: Hit major turbulence from Chicago to Newark. Reach brink of nauseous feeling before landing. Buy pizza, beef jerky, water and sour patch kids in the hope of stopping stomach from growling. Eat pizza-to no avail. Sit anxiously in Newark airport for plane to Madrid to depart. Ignore everyone, listen to iPod. Board plane, eat dinner, take very lovely sleeping pill. Arrive in Madrid, miss breakfast, enter airport, through customs, lose suitcase, change money to Euros, drive 3 hours to Cáceres, get internet connected, take a nap.
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